Sexting can be a difficult skill to master. Whether you’re excellent at it or have yet to give it a shot, there is one thing about sexting that always rings true: it works. The more you banter back and forth between your partner about your fantasies or what you’re dying to do with them, the harder it will be for them to keep their hands off you once you’re together.

The most important aspect of sexting is one that cannot be forgotten: there are no quickies in sexting. You don’t want to dive right in with a “I can’t wait to ride your dick later,” you have to lead into it. Slowly seducing them with naughty text messages, such as “I wish you were here with me right now… I’d love to relax and give you a massage” will lure their naughty side out of them and get them in the “sexting” mood as well. If the two of you didn’t have plans but you’re looking to lure them over to keep you company, start off with something like that or a “if you came over tonight, I’d kiss on your neck and give you whatever you wanted….”

We all love to be seduced, and leading up to what will actually happen once you’re together is a great way to know your partner is at work, school or home thinking about you in very naughty ways. Don’t spill the beans or reveal the explicit details of what you’re hoping will go down, you’ll only ruin the surprise. Keep them going and keep the both of you on the edge of your seat as you get closer and closer to being together and letting it all out for the real thing. Before you know it, you and your partner will have played out those wonderfully dirty texts sent throughout the entire day.

Ladies, today we’re going to get down and dirty to explain some of the things you absolutely should not do if you want to introduce toys to your bedroom activities. There is a right way and a wrong way to introduce toys, and if you go about it in the wrong way your man may feel like he isn’t getting the job done, and will be uninterested in all the fascinating possibilities.

Surprise is not the answer! When you and your man are in the middle of foreplay or sex, you can’t just whip out a huge phallic shaped vibrator. He will go limp in seconds. His number one thought at that moment will be that he is too small, followed closely by “She doesn’t think she’s gonna use that on me, does she?” As you can imagine, that is a sure way to kill the mood.

You can ease your man into the idea of using toys by choosing a smaller, less phallic type of toy, such as a rabbit wand or a bullet. These are seen as more feminine and he won’t be all uptight about using your toys on you. Giving him the controller for the bullet will really show him how much fun can be had with a toy. You don’t want him to think that you are replacing his wonderful, large, and exciting member with a battery-operated monster.

Once he sees how great it is to use the toys on you along with getting himself in on the action, he will be a little more open to letting you use vibrating rings, and possibly other items on him. Keep in mind of course that while some men enjoy anal action, most will react negatively initially. If you plan on using any toys in that area, lube and vibration are your best bet to make sure that he doesn’t even realize exactly why it feels so good. Also it’s important to understand that penetration isn’t necessary to rock your guy’s world. The ‘taint in this case is a ‘tis!

Women are insecure creatures. We often find ourselves doing really stupid things to keep a guy’s attention. Every relationship has an ebb and flow, things are up and things are down. Sometimes he can’t keep his hands off you and other times you can’t seem to get his hands on you. The urge to be dramatic and get his attention back on you and sex can be tempting, but there are certain things you just don’t want to do if you want to keep his attention. Keep in mind you want attention from him not anger or a complete loss of interest.

#1) Don’t flirt with his friends or create an odd jealousy spiral that will backfire and leave you all alone. You don’t want his attention in the form of jealousy.

#2) Don’t give him an ultimatum. “I know lots of men who want me if you don’t” is a sure way to lead him to tell you to give those men a call because he is done.

#3) Don’t belittle his manhood. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t had sex in weeks, you can approach the situation with a bit of tact and without making him feel less than a man. Stress, work pressure and even hormonal changes can cause his sex drive to diminish.

#4) Don’t tell all to your girlfriends and have them “talk” to him about what a great girl you are and how he’s really messing things up by not giving you more attention.

# 5) Don’t lie, cheat, steal or otherwise create a dramatic situation to make him rush to your side and realize how much he needs you. This means no fake pregnancies, no made up ex-boyfriend threats and no sudden illnesses to test his love for you.

These 5 are by no means the only things not to do to keep his attention, there’s also starvation diets, plastic surgery, drastic appearance changes and many more. If you want your guy to want you, just be YOU, don’t play games, don’t go to extremes and realize that there are ups and downs in every relationship and just because you aren’t having sex 3 times a day, that doesn’t mean he isn’t into you. Rarely does the excitement of a new relationship carry through past the first few months, that’s when you move past infatuation and lust into a real relationship. It’s a milestone, celebrate it, don’t despair over it.

The search for the elusive soul mate leads many women and men to try out the world of online dating. While there are people who find someone special, get married and live happily ever after there are more than a few who are disappointed with the whole experience.  Online dating and online matchmaking sites aren’t for everyone, but there are a few things you can do to make sure that you have a fun and positive experience with online dating whether you find your soul mate or not.

Don’t expect that every profile you encounter with an attractive photo and a few similar interests is going to be the person you’ve been searching for. Chances are that photo is several years old and the person is leaving out a whole lot of details.  Sure if you find a profile that is interesting it is worth sending an email and finding out more, but don’t immediately rush into thinking that this is the person you are going to spend your life with.

Don’t arrange a date or in person meeting until you have spent a lot of time emailing and talking on the phone with the person. The more details you can glean from conversation and even tone of voice and sense of humor will help you decide whether to go to that next step. (Always be safe when meeting someone you met online. Make sure a friend knows where you will be and who you will be with and what time to expect you to call and check in).

Online dating is not exclusive before you even meet the person. If you meet someone on an online dating site, chances are that they, like you are talking to several people and trying to find someone special. Don’t become overbearing and possessive until your “relationship” reaches that level. Until you have personally met this person and spent time with them you are NOT in an exclusive relationship with them. Neither you, nor they are cheating when talking to or meeting someone else.

Yes, online dating offers the possibility of meeting many different types of people from all walks of life, this also means that you have a great deal of variety and different people to get to know and choose from. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, when you put it that way online dating isn’t really all that different than being set up on a blind date or going out with a person you met at a bar.

These days a common term is ‘friends with benefits’ which typically means you aren’t dating you are just friends who occasionally sleep together. Sounds ideal doesn’t it? You get wild sex without the hassles of worrying about anyone’s feelings afterwards, you get to “cum and go” who wouldn’t like that? In reality this is a difficult situation to be in because when you like someone as a friend and are also attracted to them your mine and your heart will feel that the next natural step is a relationship.

To keep the delicate balance of an FWB situation there are certain things you can’t do.

• Don’t blow up his cell when he’s out with his buddies- he doesn’t belong to you and doesn’t have to answer to you about anything. If you find that you want to monitor him and have answers maybe you need to re-think your situation.
• No overnights! Spending the night makes it seem more like a relationship and will create some hard to distinguish feelings. If you’re there for sex, then get your booty call and leave.
• Don’t let a FWB situation prevent you from going out, seeing other people and possibly finding someone who does want a relationship. The “friend” obviously doesn’t feel that a relationship is the way to go but that doesn’t mean you want to be a side piece indefinitely.
• Don’t plan ‘dates’ that would make it seem as if you are more than friends- the benefits part is usually few and far between in a true FWB arrangement. If you’re having sex with someone on a weekly basis then you’re more than likely not  FWB’s!

The friends with benefits arrangement is great when you’re both single and just want to have some fun, but if the goal is to not be attached or involved you have to put up a brick wall to keep emotions from finding their way into your nice neat FWB arrangement. Exploring your sexuality, finding a sexual tension release and knowing that you can trust the person as a friend makes the FWB situation ideal for some people. Others may have difficulty with the lack of commitment or progression. You have to decide what is right for you before you get into a no-strings FWB situation.

This week we’ve got a little serious subject matter for both the ladies and the men. Sex is good, sex is fun but don’t confuse great sex with safe sex. If you’re not in a committed relationship where both of you have been tested there are certain things you should not do until that happens.  There’s nothing wrong with having a good time but you can’t let your sex life ruin or even end your life.

1. Don’t have sex without a condom. It doesn’t matter whether you’re on the pill or he claims that he’s sterile. Sex is not the only reason for using a condom, and in fact it’s not even the most important reason. Protect yourself from STD’s and pregnancy by using a raincoat every time! No glove no love, should be your motto. Ladies, don’t leave it up to the guy to have condoms, carry your own, if you’re woman enough to be having sex you’re woman enough to make sure you’re protected.
2. Don’t use sex toys with more than one partner without cleaning them thoroughly with an antibacterial cleanser. Bodily fluids can get embedded in the pores of the silicone or latex toys and spread infection and disease. This is also a good practice even if you are only using the toys with one partner. Clean your toys with a specific toy cleaner and store them safely.
3. Oral sex can spread disease as well- dental dams, lady condoms and regular condoms should be used any time you have oral sex with someone you aren’t in a committed and disease free relationship with.
4. Don’t ignore any questionable “down there” symptoms. From a slight itch to excessive discharge even an unusual odor can indicate a possible infection or disease. Then again there are some STD’s which can go unnoticed for years. Regardless of your relationship status make sure that you have yourself tested regularly if you are or have been sexually active.
5. Never, ever believe words uttered in the heat of the moment. “Oh baby I’m out of condoms, but don’t worry I’m clean” or “I’m on the pill don’t worry I won’t get pregnant if we just do it without protection this one time” should prompt you to say “No way!” or at the very least whip out your own condom!

These 5 are not the only things you shouldn’t do to remain healthy and disease free, but they are a good start to making sure that you are clean and will stay that way. Yes, sex is fun, but it is also a responsibility. You have to protect yourself and your partner, you have to make sure that you don’t end up with an unwanted child and you have to take precautions that will keep you from regretting one sexual encounter for the rest of your life.

Okay Ladies and Gents, this week I’m going to step away from the sex topic directly and hit on something a little more down to earth and common. Housecleaning! Yes that’s right, if you’re a couple you know that housecleaning is going to come up. He didn’t take the garbage out. She didn’t clean the kitchen. You know those little thoughts that sneak in and make us treat our partners like little children who haven’t done their chores? Today I’m going to give you a list of things you should never ever say to your partner when it comes to house cleaning!

1. “Didn’t I tell you to _______?” Or even worse “Didn’t I tell you NOT to ______?” Your partner isn’t your child it doesn’t matter what you told them, they are adults and will make their own decisions.
2. “I won’t clean the sink after you shave and leave hairs in it.” Or any other sort of “I won’t” statement because that could then be turned around on you. All of us have one bad habit or another. Just rinse the sink and go on about your business or the next time you leave an open shampoo bottle in the shower your partner may not worry if it gets knocked off and runs down the drain.
3. “That’s not my job”.  Okay you aren’t 10 anymore, you don’t have assigned chores and responsibilities- you both live there you both should do a little bit of everything to keep the home running smoothly.
4. “You were off today, why isn’t the house clean and dinner ready?” Prepare to be hit by a flying shoe if you dare to state this question in this manner. Go with a neutral question like “Did you have a good day off?”
5. “Do it THIS way”. Does it really matter how the bathroom gets cleaned as long as it does? Will the bed being made differently keep you from sleeping in it? NOOOO, so just be happy that someone else is doing the job and don’t supervise.

I know that you may think this list has nothing to do with sex, but let me tell you it does!  Have you ever pissed your partner off over housecleaning and been cut off for a night or two? Worked yourself into a snit over an overflowing garbage can and gave your partner the silent treatment instead of simply taking out the trash? Then you know that as wrong as it is sex is directly related to how we feel about our partners at any given time, so if the housekeeping isn’t up to par there are likely to be problems in the bedroom!

Okay ladies, today it’s your turn to find out what you should not ever say to your boyfriend. Sure they are guys and they can take a lot before it bothers them, but you should always treat the person you love with respect. Keep in mind that your guy has feelings too and no matter how much you want things your way a relationship involves compromise, communication and honesty.

“If you don’t ________ then I guess we won’t be having sex tonight!” Oh ladies, sex is not a bargaining chip. You can’t punish him by withholding sex and if you do you may be left with no one to have sex with!

“You’re the man, you should be supporting me!” I hate to break it to you but this little thing called women’s lib has made that statement almost as offensive as its counterpart concerning “women’s work”, you are an adult you are responsible for supporting yourself and in a relationship each of you should be contributing as equally as possible.

“There are lots of guys who want to be with me.” Well yeah, there may be. But you are in a relationship with someone that apparently you want to be with instead of all the other guys. Don’t hold your possibilities over his head because he could do the same. After all if you want him don’t you suppose there are other women who want to be with him too? Value your relationship and if you have to use that line, make sure you follow it up with how happy you are to have him instead of all those others.

“I have a headache!” It’s time you understand that a headache isn’t’ a valid excuse because orgasm is known to cure headaches. But also because it’s an excuse that doesn’t address the real reason you’re turning him down. Be honest, if you don’t want to then just say “I’m not in the mood right now.”

Being kind, loving and respectful of your partner is the best way to make sure that your relationship lasts. You are a modern woman who has lots of possibilities whether it’s your career or your love life, but without love and without a supportive loving partner how satisfying will those possibilities be?

Men may be macho and they may not tell you just how much your comments can hurt them but put yourself in his shoes and consider how you’d feel before you say something offhandedly that could hurt him.

So, your friend has set you up on a blind date. You feel weird and creeped out about meeting someone you don’t know in a date situation. There are a few ways to handle a blind date, even if you don’t want to go on the date in the first place. Simply avoid these pitfalls in order to have a great blind date even if it isn’t with your soul mate.

Don’t fall for the description given to you by the friend who set you up. More than likely you aren’t going to meet Prince Charming. Go in with low expectations and really see the person you are meeting. If he is Prince Charming that’s great. Even if he’s not you won’t be disappointed and will be able to have a pleasant evening anyway.

Don’t go all out on the wardrobe and make up, it’s a blind date. The person meeting you will probably not be expecting the sex bomb of his dreams. Be you so that you don’t intimidate a less confident date and so that you can just relax and enjoy the date without constantly needing to look in the mirror.

Conversation is a bit difficult with someone you just met. Take the time to get past the small talk and actually talk about things you both enjoy, even if that’s nothing more than running down the friend who set this up! Common ground allows you both to relax and enjoy the conversation even if you aren’t attracted to one another.

Blind dates can be a pain, you pretty much know that you aren’t going to meet your happily ever after on a blind date, but you can have a nice time and maybe make a friends. On the off chance that you do meet “the one” on a blind date just imagine the fun your friend who set you up will have crowing about her success at picking the perfect date! Don’t forget that setting up blind dates goes both ways so if your friend blundered, big time you can always get your revenge!

A bad blind date isn’t the end of the world, just go with the flow, try to make the best of it and be a nice date.

While you may think of phone sex as something that is only done when you are far apart and unable to actually have sex, phone sex is actually a very vital part of a sexual relationship and can be used to improve your sex life tremendously.

Suppose your lover is at work and you are at home thinking of all the fun things you want to do later in the evening. Why keep all those details to yourself? Call him up and tell him all about where and how you want to touch him. Tell him to find someplace where he can be alone for a few minutes and ask him to touch himself for you, and to tell you how it feels. Your hands can wander too as you tell him all the great things you can do to yourself until he gets there. Just a quick phone sex session in the afternoon will have him anticipating a hot sex session until he arrives.

This may lead to some living room floor sex, or being taken up against the wall. Phone sex lets you interject some passion, some anticipation and a few hours’ worth of foreplay into the day just by spending 5 minutes on the phone. Sure you can have sex anytime you want if your lover is close by or lives with you, but sometimes the sex on demand thing can get a bit boring. Bring back the excitement with phone sex and the waiting game.

He will spend the rest of his day at work wondering which toys you are playing with, whether you are in the tub shaving and grooming for him, or whether you are masturbating as you think about sex with him later. Just remember the next time you go grocery shopping don’t be surprised if your cell rings and he has you trembling with excitement as you move through the aisles. Turnabout is fair play and if you can turn his humdrum work day into a sex filled fantasy then he can do the same for your errands.

Phone sex is enticing, it’s exciting and it’s fun, you can be as bold and naughty as you want on the phone, even going so far as to bring on the real dirty talk that is usually reserved for the wildest of sexual encounters. Let your imagination run wild and share every possible scenario with your lover over the phone to re-ignite the sexual flame!